


Don't cry

by Writing_in_SIN



Series: 100 Ways to Say 'I Love You' [39]
Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Heisei Generations Final, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28361154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_in_SIN/pseuds/Writing_in_SIN
Summary: After Parad returned from the SkyWall world, there are times when the bugster will cry without warning.
Relationships: Houjou Emu & Parad (Kamen Rider Ex-Aid), Houjou Emu/Parad
Series: 100 Ways to Say 'I Love You' [39]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538683
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	Don't cry

**Author's Note:**

> If you like, come scream at me on [Tumblr](https://writing-in-sin.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Writing_in_SIN)

* * *

**"Don't cry."**

* * *

After Parad returned from the SkyWall world, there are times when the bugster will cry without warning.

The first time it happened, Emu broke his mug when he dropped it in his haste to get to Parad. People tend to always be surprised at those kind of reaction from him since Emu has always been the calmer one. But he can't help it— it's _Parad_ and things tend to be different when it comes to Parad especially since his best friend has always been the only exception in his life.

(Eventually, those in CR got used to his more intense reactions whenever Parad is involved).

However, just as much as he wanted to find and tear down at whatever that made Parad cry, Emu knew his priorities and made his way to where Parad was sobbing uncontrollably on the couch in CR and gathered his friend into a hug that had the tall bugster clinging onto him with a white knuckled grip.

It took awhile for Parad to calm down but being held and surrounded by their friends helped the bugster to tell them what triggered the tears. And as it turned out, it's because Parad sometimes has a hard time believing that he's really back— that this is reality and not Parad's lonely mind making things up for him to keep him sane.

_Please tell me this is real._

The terrifying anger Emu felt towards Katsuragi Takumi at that revelation left him light-headed for hours on end.

Logically, he knows that Parad was gone for two years but the implication of what that really meant never really hit him until then— that his best friend had been alone and was terribly lonely for two long years with nothing familiar for company except for the agony of past trauma and sins as well as the desperate drive to retrieve Emu's powers so that he could come back home to them all.

Since then, everyone has gone out of their way to make sure that Parad knows that he really is back with them and that it's _staying_ that way. From game tournaments with him and Nico to dancing sessions with Poppy. He's even taken to going on bike rides with Kiriya, dessert runs with Hiiro and afternoon walks with Taiga. Also, when it's not too busy, Parad joins Director Kagami for hospital rounds and have tea with Kyoutarou-sensei whenever he drops by the Ministry for work.

...somehow, even Kuroto joins in with game programming (because despite their sour past, Parad and Kuroto were friends of some sorts once and are trying to be again).

Bit by bit, the haunted look in Parad's eyes starts to fade away. It doesn't disappear completely and perhaps not for a long time but, Parad _is_ getting better and that's what matters.

"Houjou-sensei?" a nurse calls out to him in concern and Emu blinks.

He's leaning heavily against the wall, palm against his aching heart as his eyes burn with unshed tears. A wave of something crippling and suffocating had caught him by surprised, causing him to almost collapse down onto his knees in the playroom at the paed ward. Blinking back the tears, Emu gives the nurse and the worried children around him a reassuring smile.

"I'm alright." Getting to his feet, Emu takes a deep breath and lets it out, eyes darting around the room until he finds a nurse he's more familiar with. "Tachibana-san?"

Tachibana gives him an understanding smile. "I'll inform another doctor to fill you in until you come back, Houjou-sensei."

"Thank you," he says gratefully. Turning his attention to a child clutching his pant leg, Emu ruffles the child's hair with a smile and addresses the room as a whole. "I'll be back soon."

The nurse that called out to him (a trainee named Sakai if he's not mistaken) furrows her brows in confusion. "Houjou-sensei, where—?"

But Emu is already halfway out of the room, vision bleeding and once he's out in the corridor, he traces the bond and lets it tug him to where he needs to be as he teleports.

Truth be told, only those in CR knows the reason behind his abrupt disappearances but the nurses and his colleagues who know him understand that whatever the reason is, it's important to him and has never stopped him from going to where Parad is— not even his seniors.

_"They wouldn't dare, I think," Poppy told him once, thoughtful. "You have this... **look** in your eyes, Emu. Something that tells people that nothing can stop you from going to where you need to be. So they don't."_

_"Just like that?"_

_"Yup! Somehow, people just know."_

_"Even those who don't know the connection between me and Parad?"_

_"They don't need to. Because there's only one person that can make you drop anything and everything in a heartbeat, Emu and that's Parad."_

And as he stands on the rooftop, eyes automatically searching for his partner, Emu knows that what Poppy said is true. As time goes on, Emu realises that there's nothing he wouldn't do for Parad and maybe that's something he should be worried about; something that needs to be examined closely. However...Emu feels that he doesn't need to because as far as he's concerned, caring about Parad in such a way is as essential and natural as breathing to him.

At this point, it's honestly something that goes without saying for him.

"Parad," he whispers into the wind when he finds his best friend curled into a ball on the ledge of the roof; staring blankly at the city spread under them. When the bugster doesn't reply, Emu carefully makes his way to Parad, keeping his footsteps slow yet audible to make sure Parad knows that he's here. Once he's within arm's reach, Emu lays a gentle hand on Parad's shoulder. "Parad."

His friend stirs, slowly turning to look up at him and Emu's heart gives a lurch at the tears streaming down Parad's face.

It's a bad day.

While it doesn't happen as often as when he first returned from the SkyWall world, there are times when something triggers the bugster and Parad will be in a tearful daze. Sometimes, only a few minutes. Other times, a few hours.

Emu's just grateful it never gone into days after that first time. Because that'd been the worst since Parad had subconsciously blocked his end of the bond so that he wouldn't burden Emu, making it hard to get through to Parad to help convince the bugster that he really _is_ back instead of it all being a hallucination from his spiraling mind.

Dropping down to his knees, Emu gathers Parad into a hug; tucking the unresisting bugster under his chin as Emu gently rocks them back and forth.

"Don't cry," he coos gently, running his fingers through soft curls. "You're home and you're safe with me, Parad— with _all_ of us."

Parad holds onto him like a lifeline, voice hoarse. "I know...I just, I needed to make sure that there really is no SkyWall."

"...that's why you're always on the roof whenever this hits you," Emu says with sudden realisation, tightening his hold on Parad as a lump lodges in his throat.

Parad nods, whimpering against his neck.

"This is _your_ world; _your_ home and not anyone else's." Kissing messy curls, he murmurs against Parad's forehead. "I swear to you that you'll _never_ be alone again. Whatever happens, we'll stick close together so nothing like that will _ever_ happen again."

There's a minute pause before Parad stumbles back, wide eyed with wild desperation.

Alarmed, he reaches a hand out. "Parad...?"

"Are you really mine?" Parad croaks out, arms wrapping around his middle, pale and haunted. "You're alive? Not a different Emu? I'm not taking another Parad's place?"

Never before has Emu wish to rewind time; to spare Parad this sort of pain and terror.

Jaw aching from clenching it so hard, Emu takes a calming breath and tugs the bond between him and Parad. He sees Parad's eyes widening and Emu takes advantage of that to wrap the bond around his friend in a warm cocoon.

"Emu," Parad sobs out, falling into him when Emu tugs him back into his arms. "You're _real."_

Eyes burning, Emu buries his nose into Parad's hair as his own tears stream down his face. "I'm real."

"I'm sorry," his bugster blubbers out and Emu frowns because Parad has _nothing_ to apologise for. Never for this. But the bugster just burrows into him further like he's only seconds away from merging them, which Emu more than welcomes it if that's what Parad needs. "Sometimes I really wonder if you're really mine."

Shifting back slightly so that he can cradle Parad's face in his hands, Emu leans forward to press a lingering kiss on Parad's forehead. He makes sure that they're both steeped so deeply into the bond so as to not leave any room for doubt. When the wild desperation recedes from Parad's eyes to be replaced by awed relief, Emu smiles through his tears.

"Of course I am," he murmurs within the space between them, their foreheads touching as he swears. "Always have and always will be."

Parad curls long fingers around his wrists and leans closer, but doesn't say anything so Emu ventures further.

"And do you know what else?"

"...what?"

"You're _mine_ too, Parad," he states, fierce and firm.

Hopeful dark eyes blink at him, a stray tear rolling down a sharp cheekbone. "Always?"

"Always," Emu promises.

When tension bleeds out of broad shoulders, Parad leans bonelessly against him as his body shakes with relieved sobs. Clenching his eyes shut; both out of relief and grief, Emu runs a hand through Parad's curls.

It'll take Parad awhile to recover still, but they'll get there and until then, Emu holds his Heart close and doesn't let go for a long time.


End file.
